How to feel your emotions
KNOCK KNOCK!! Who's there? .. Your emotions! Let me in!
Haven't you heard?
You need to feeeel to heal, baby! & contrary to what many of us were taught growing up, there is no right or wrong way to feel.
People who struggle with depression, anxiety, eating disorders and addiction tend to feel things very deeply, which isn’t an issue in and of itself. The issues arise when we judge our emotions or refuse to feel them at all. & numbing and venting emotions are really just attempts to get rid of them.
Most people do one of the two because they're inconvenient; the processing of emotions takes wayy too much time and can get wayy too uncomfortable.
It's no secret that suppressing emotions is unhealthy, but the point of this post is to emphasize the fact that so much growth, and so many lessons happen when you face your emotions head on and try to decode them.
When we invalidate or judge our own emotions, we strip them of their ability to teach us and completely miss the blessing.
So, the more you pay attention to them, your emotions will start to become guideposts in your journey of self-discovery, as opposed to big ol' roadblocks.
With that being said, you might be asking, how do you really feel into your feelings then? What’s the process of processing your emotions?
When I am feeling emotional, I ask myself a few questions:
1. What happened? & what really happened?
Asking myself this helps me take a step back and objectively determine the real situation, as opposed to what I perceived happened because of how emotional I was in the moment. This also helps me identify any specific triggers that could have possibly set me off, which as a result helps me deal with them more directly should they ever happen again.
2. What are my thoughts & beliefs around what happened? Do they align with my truth?
Examining the thoughts I’m having around the situation can help me determine: 1) if I’m resorting to old beliefs 2) better understand why my old beliefs no longer serve me.
3. What stories am I telling myself about the situation? What stories am I telling myself about the meaning behind feeling this particular emotion?
Think about how many times you have linked worthiness to factors that play no role whatsoever in how worthy you are, for example: physical appearance, career, money, etc. These are false connections you’ve developed over time that are easy to resort back to when things go wrong.
Also, what are you telling yourself, about yourself, in regards to the emotions your feelings?
For example, when I used to feel anger, an old story I would tell myself is that I’m difficult, and have a lack of control.
When I was hurt, I would convince myself I was just too sensitive and needed to grow thicker skin.
Which were all so far from the truth. Instead, these were beliefs that society and my peers had ingrained in my head.
I’ll repeat - it’s never about having the emotion, it’s about what you do with it and how you process it.
Once you are finally able to accept that the emotion and allow yourself to FEEL IT ALL, you can ask yourself:
4. What has this taught me?
I already know I’ve had been blessed with the chance to grow from this experience.
Whatever the lesson is (which might not even become apparent for weeks, months, or years) you can choose to be thankful for it, believe that something good has or will come from it, and move forward.
Meet the author
Andrea De Leon, Nutritionist and Certified Food & Body Coach
Over the course of 6 years, Andrea earned her Masters in holistic nutrition, competed in fitness competitions, became a health coach and worked as personal trainer, hoping one of these avenues would be the solution to what seemed like an endless, vicious cycle of yo-yo dieting and binge eating. However, it wasn’t until Andrea discovered a self-love and food freedom course that her life truly changed. Once she accepted that she was an emotional eater and was taught various coping strategies and self-soothing tools for dealing with emotions, she finally achieved the freedom she had been seeking. Freedom from food, body, mind, and self. In addition to earning her body image and self-love coaching certification, Andrea has been working side-by-side with Tony Robbin’s personal trainer, Billy Beck III, which has taught her the science and evidence-based tools behind exercise and the psychology of nutrition. She now has the privilege of using what she's learned to coach amazing women one-on-one, helping them fully transform their lives at a deeper level by letting go of their past stories and beliefs and stepping into their power, unleashing their ultimate feminine potential.